Less Scared, More Confused - Perhaps?

Well - yesterday was certainly beneficial.  There's nothing much different than what I've already said and know.  Certain things that I didn't think about have popped into my head.  They certainly could be overcome if we made the effort.  The hard thing - which may or may not become relevant as time goes along - is that while I'm the farthest away, I won't be in a position to do the one thing that makes me most relevant - proving that I can become a provider again.

Obviously there's lots of other things - being a father, the way I treat her personally and how I do things around the house/my personal upkeep, etc.

I'm not trying to be on a downer or something.  Sometimes you have to have a goal.  Being down there separated for whatever reason for whatever length of time is going to be tough, regardless.  And like I said - even though down there is where I have to take care of a little business, there's nothing I can do to move forward after a little bit.  I'm not even sure I will be warmly received.

Again - I think too much.  I need to really spend some time getting some things done on my list.  I'm not saying that I can come up with some kind of "miracle" in the next week.  I hope we can get a decent settlement offer.

I know it's one thing to say it here and another thing to put it in action - especially down there.  And I'm not trying to be flippant since I have ultimately made choices that led to this.  Mostly through inaction, not action.  But I won't even have internet.

And like I said - I have no way of knowing what if any settlement offer we can receive up here and thus perhaps how much time I have - although I'm not going to take half or whatever as most of that should be for whatever.


Update:  Sunday, August 11, 2013 @ 7:00 pm

It's kind of funny how you can misunderstand someone's intent, regardless of how hard you try not to.
I understand a lot of things - and I was hoping not to misinterpret signals probably as much as she was hoping not to broadcast the wrong ones.

When we were together yesterday, it cleared up a lot of animosity ( I thought).  I knew there would be "no guarantees" but I somehow did not pick up on the blame Todd for the house mess.