I've seen a lot of shit in my time. Especially the last 11 months, even more specifically the past 3-4 months. I'm not sure that if I sat here for days I would accurately be able to come up with the number of times I packed my bags and mentally/emotionally knew it was "over". This is one of those days. Obviously, I know that since it is "now" it feels the strongest - but this is one of those very, very rare days where I have not exploded - and the first raunchy email from her ...ahhhh fuck it. I do not feel like doing this.
Updated: Thursday, August 8, 2013 @4:36 pm:
Well, I'm not quite sure that I feel any better about posting...but I am. So there. Not quite sure what to do. I'd like to just freaking disappear. Even my little "plan" about just "disappearing" for awhile. There's a lot of problems with that. First, a vehicle that's not legal in any way and warrants out does not bode well for much travel, and then only at night. Second, I don't have the money at all to be spending on motel rooms. Even 50+ bucks for one night is something I can afford, but will do if necessary. Third - I'd really like to apply for the Amazon job. If I get it somehow, I'll have to make arrangements to make do with the other stuff. No disrespect to Mom - but I do NOT want to go down there. I will have to hear lectures/preaching/stories - and I'm in no mood. I certainly love her but...if I did go down there, it would have to be specifically for the truck and damn. I just...
Updated: Thursday, August 8, 2013 @10:02 pm:
In some ways, I certainly should at least be able to understand. This has turned out to be...one hell of a week. Not in a good way, obviously. It's almost surreal what has happened. To know the house is gone - living in it still but living on borrowed time. Knowing that a week ago, with the exception of just being scared to death that we would have enough income to file Ch 13...and then the arguments, neither of us backing down. So here we sit, in the house that we used to own in the the neighborhood we used to live in. Typing in the office that used to be mine. And shortly will not be for good.
In some ways...it seemed more tolerable when Alex and Emily were here. I guess anything was. The time has just slipped by.
Well, according to my figures (accurate as they always are) - We should be good til Monday at least, depending upon any notices received, of course. Monday is 4 more days. Tuesday 100 bucks must be paid to the water company or we'll be here without water. Make no mistake - time is very short. There's a lot that needs to be done. It's little wonder sometimes with the arguing back and forth, at least lately. Our whole world has been ripped apart. For sheer stupidity.
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